I want Matthew McConaugheyto Star in My Movie

The Pandemic hit in 2007 and it hit every bit as hard as a category six hurricane, only it hit the whole world pretty much all at once. The population of the United States had been almost 210 million strong in those days. Then the 'Big Bird Flu' claimed almost 65 million of the people closest to us in '07 and '08. The war that followed took another 40 million. Between the two they literally cut our numbers in half. Many of those that remained were too traumatized to let themselves love again. Isolation was rampant while promiscuity and the resulting std's had spiked through the roof.

We didn't have to lose so many. The World Health Organization, The Centers for Disease Control and Oprah warned people to get prepared before it hit. Even George W. Bush warned folks and in eight years of serving his country it is still to this day considered by most Historians, one of the few things he ever did right.

And it's not like people didn't listen. They watched the news more. They listened carefully and then they worried. But most of them didn't do a damn thing to get prepared. The day we found out the Pandemic was no longer only spreading like wildfire in humans, but was still taking the lives of half who caught Big Bird Flu..... virtually everyone went to Walmart. That day Walmart broke all previous records for sales, stampedes, fights, and even deaths in some of the stores.

But they were still too little, too late. They hadn't saved money to pay house payments, rent, utilities and more supplies without going to work. Mom and Dad went to work, next thing you know, homes were being marked with big red X's on nearly every street, showing that no one who lived there was still alive. Unlike the 1918 pandemic, the mortality rate wasn't 2.5% of those who caught the disease..... it was just slightly over 50%. Tamiflu was about as effective at stopping Big Bird's deadly march around our world as a trailer park speed bump.

Due to the leadership of President Mary Cheney [2012-2020], who lay the ground work for President Chelsea Clinton's brilliant coup -- the insurrection of 2009 was squelched neatly and completely in 2022.

Our technology has in many ways regained the strides it had made in the beginning of the century. Television, highways, the 'infrastructure,' even computers and cell phones are back in use. Just like the old days, every time you buy a new one, it's practically obsolete before the battery needs to be recharged.

Some spikes in technology have occurred as a result of the horrific and numbing losses of life during the pandemic and then later in the 'unofficial' civil war. A high school student in Bugtussle, Oklahoma wrote an important program that revolutionized the robot industry. The new robots looked and sounded just like us.... Only better. A lot better. Your own celeb-robot, or 'crib' as they became known, will never die... If it doesn't suit you because it's too hard to get along with, or too easy, simply reprogram it. So you see, in no time, Celeb-Robotics.com [CRB INC.] was the fastest growing new company in the world. The first year there were only five CRBs:

• model #crb01fxx -- the Hot Foxx (jamie)
• model #crb02mcc -- The Big McC (Matthew)
• model#crb03bry -- The Sweet Berry (Halle)
• model#crbo4joe -- the All Out Alba (Jessica)
• and model#crbo5Op -- the Oprah

They were flying off the shelves in every Trump-Mart like they were ice cold beer at a hot and humid NASCAR race. Over ten million sold the first month. The guys left over from Dreamworks and some really good plastic surgeons literally lived in the design labs and I have to say, the work they did was truly incredible.

Physically, these robots looked and sounded exactly like the celebrities we had loved so dearly before we lost them and half of the ordinary, just like us people we loved. Our present is a future most science fiction writers never imagined. We have never and probably will never wear matching polyester uniforms in a nearly monochromatic world. Even in the first year, when there were only five models, we dressed them up and changed their hair styles and colors like they were the greatest Barbie and Ken dolls ever made. Because in fact they were.

It took a while to work all the bugs out....

Version 3.1 of the Foxx would try to dirty dance with half the people that rang your doorbell even if he was running one of the G or PG rated versions.

Version 4.1 of the Big McC would smoke pot and play the bongo drums naked at the most embarrassing times and places whether you programmed him full bore bohemian or not.

The real brains of the place were still wet behind the ears computer geeks and both 'the Berry' and 'the Alba' would begin to strip anytime they were near a traffic light that was red. I have to admit, It waaas funny, especially in the cities. There's all these ordinary owners trying to stop them and they never did get em all stopped in time. There was always two or three that would be flashing everything to everybody. tch... tch... Boys will be -- idiots! It sure made guys that couldn't afford their own Celeb-Robot feel better though.

The following year there were a couple of new models hit the shelves every month.... Tom Hanks, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, Jake Gyllenhaal, Jennifer Aniston, Portia De Rossi, Natalie Portman, Drew Barrymore, the Oceans 11 or was it 12 guys, the desperate housewives, Jenny McCarthy, Vince Vaughn, and Owen Wilson. The Penelope Cruz was a very BIG seller. Before it was all said and done, there was quite an assortment to choose from. About the only downside is it still takes almost 6 hours to fully program a new crib. You'd think they'd find a way to speed up that process.

They were ALL popular and even though the Oprah was only programmed in G and PG versions and thanks to the 'CelebrityHeroAngel Bill' that was rushed through the house and senate, she could never be used as a mate.... But still, everyone had to have their own Oprah. I mean come on, it's OPRAH..... She was even provided by the government free to any family that fell below Fema income guidelines.

Do you like her compassion best? Then you program that in as her top value.... you can't get a blister without her warm soothing concern and gracious care. Prefer the 'my favorite things' Oprah? Her top values are interior design, Nate, Vera Wang gowns, Jimmy Choo Shoes and the finest foods you ever laid a lip on. :)

Oprah now lives in almost every home. She comes with a choice of four of her most attractive hair styles. Dr. Phil later became a big seller too, but still, like all the other cribs, he was no where near Oprah. All of us who still remembered her asked her why she stayed with Stedman so long without marrying him. But every Oprah, being just a little different from every other Oprah down the street; gave different answers. All it did was cause heated debates over our century greatest mortal angel.

Although about 20 celebrities have smaller parts, Oprah, Matthew, Jamie, Halle and Jessica are all over the movie.... and before long they're almost backdrops for the plain looking people that own them who are inexplicably surprising themselves by falling in love with each other instead of their perfect cribs......

To be continued tomorrow.....